The Downside of Being Vegan

Good Intentions

I began my food journey in 2018 when I began the process of removing animal products from my diet. I was tired of dealing with my symptoms of IBS-C and using laxatives so often. I was tired of feeling bloated and puffy because of my poor diet. I knew my family had a history of high cholesterol and blood pressure and I wanted to try my best to be a bit healthier. I needed something to jumpstart healthier eating. So ... I went vegan. It was a process. First went red meat and pork, then chicken, eggs, and eventually all dairy. I also reduced gluten in my diet. I felt instantly better.

So Far ... So Good

Yes, I missed cheese, burgers, chicken tenders, and donuts. But my face looked slimmer, my brain and body felt stronger, and my energy levels were more stable! The symptoms of IBS-C that I dealt with for years finally went away. I was regular, my bloating was almost completely gone, and I felt amazing! I never realized how many headaches I was getting until I cut animal products and saw a drastic reduction.

Here Comes Trouble ...

Then ... things took a turn for the worse. The slimmer body I was excited to show off quickly became an underweight, bony frame that I was no longer proud of. I didn't feel strong, I felt weak. I was always fatigued. My hormones were all out of balance and it impacted my sleep, my menstrual cycle, and my skin. After getting through teenage puberty acne-free ... I got hit with hormonal acne in my twenties. All because I was too skinny. And, I have the scars today to prove it. The image below was from this time. I will never forget the tears my mom shed when she saw how thin I had gotten. As a mother of a daughter, my heart breaks for her in that moment. I pray no other mother has to see their child like that.

Isolation

Then, my life just sort of fell apart. It wasn't because I was vegan. But being vegan wasn't really helping anything. Amidst the pandemic, I hid from the world. I was also facing a personal life crisis and instead of leaning on others during that time - I isolated myself. I avoided going to restaurants because "what if the food makes me sick?" or "what if there's nothing on the menu for me?". I avoided spending time with family and friends because "what if they see how skinny I've gotten?" ... "what if they find out there is a problem?". The reality was, I was imprisoned by my own restrictive eating. What started as a positive step to better my health, became an obsession with healthy/clean/completely plant-based eating. I knew I had to make a change.

Growth and Healing

I will add a note here that this period in my life wasn't all bad. I wrote my cookbooks during this time. Having so much time alone gave me a chance to find myself. I started to understand who I was and what I believed in. My faith grew stronger during this time. I read my bible every day. I prayed every day. I journaled and wrote down things I was thankful for ... every day. In this time, God healed me. He grew me (in more ways than one). And, when I was ready, He began to free me from the prison I had built for myself. It started with eggs and fish. Then, I started getting out of the house. I'd go to church, painting classes, and the gym. I reconnected with old friends and I spent more time with family. I got a personal trainer and he introduced me to the man who is now my husband. Paul and I got married. Then, I got pregnant. And then, I started eating meat (and gluten).

The Moral of The Story

It's not that being vegan is bad. I still eat vegan food on a daily basis and most of my recipes are still vegan or vegan friendly. It's just that it can be restrictive. Focusing so much on our diet and bodies can hold us captive and steal the joy and love out of life. It can cause unnecessary fear and it can actually be unhealthy. If being vegan doesn't feel restrictive to you then more power to you! I believe we all could use more plants in our diets. But I do pray that for anyone struggling with balance, that you know it's ok to not be perfect. It's ok to listen to your body. It's ok to break free from vegan.

Today - I'm happier and more thankful than I've ever been. My body image is the best it has ever been and I think it's because I just don't think about it anymore. It's not that the meat made me happy. It was the shift in my mindset. I worried less about my body and food and shifted my focus onto others and onto God.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Matthew 6:25,33

Thanks for reading my friends! I'm not perfect. I try very hard to be authentic to where I am in my current food journey while still creating recipes that can be enjoyed by all! I am not a doctor or registered dietitian. Just a creator sharing my story, my recipes, and hopefully inspiring you to enjoy the sweet parts of life.